Tag Archives: positives over negatives

Take Control

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So… it’s the second day of the new year.  This is usually the time for people to make their resolutions and decide what kind of goals they are going to achieve in 2o17.  Yesterday I talked about my goals for the year, in regards to TONS of different things…health, fitness, love, life, friendship, extracurricular activities, travel, etc.  Will I achieve them all?  Probably not, but I’m sure as hell gonna try my best to do so!  But you know what I WON’T do?  Make excuses.  I AM THE ONE THAT HAS CONTROL.  Will other things affect my goals?  You bet your ass.  But will I ALLOW them to take control and give up on my goals?  NO FREAKING WAY.  Like today, I was running a fever, had a runny nose, felt like crap, it was raining and cold…but I got out there and ran 3.1 miles anyways (well, I walked more than ran I think…but at least I made the effort!).

For some of you, you have to have TOUGH LOVE with yourself.  You have to dig deep and really decide what it is you want and what you’ll do to achieve that.  It might take giving something up…it might take adding something to the mix…or maybe just adjusting your focus.  But whatever you do…it’s gotta be UP TO YOU. Take control.

Last week I shared an amazing article on Facebook entitled “Hate to Break it to You But You Are the Reason Your Life Sucks So Much.”  Harsh?  Yes.  But totally TRUE. It was so true that I found myself nodding my head so hard and giving myself a headache at all the TRUTH ha.  You can click that title to head to the article itself, but these are three quotes that stood out to me the most and what I took away from it. I’ll vary my focus from just nutrition/fitness so that you can get a variety of situations to use these mindsets.

–“The only thing holding you back from achieving greatness is in fact YOU.”
If you want to lose 25 pounds this year and it’s a logical goal, well let’s freaking do it.  I can tell you that of the people that I’ve coached, I’ve never had ONE person NOT see results if they actually buckled down and followed a workout and nutrition program for its recommended plan and amount of time.  When someone tells me something didn’t work for them, the first question I ask them is, “Well did you follow it to a T?”  If their answer is no, I tell them to go back and try again.  Can you tweak things and still see results?  Sure.  But give it the recommended time for your first round and SEE RESULTS, then worry about changing it up.  Obviously things you’ve tried in the past haven’t worked, so why not try something that has proven results? Eh?

–“You will never be happy if you’re constantly looking at the negatives.”

If you want to have a better relationship with your friend, partner, co-worker, and/or family member…make it happen!  Instead of thinking about all of the negative things about your relationship, focus on the positives and figure out how to make those things COMPOUND.  Don’t just sit down and decide what makes each other unhappy and work on limiting those things from happening…look at what makes you happy and do MORE of it.  If you’re constantly focusing on the negatives and figuring out everything that has gone wrong, it’s hard to see all the good things that are there.  But you know what?  For some of you it might also be a wake-up call that the relationship you’re working so hard to save (even if you’ve been BFFs for 10 years), may be negative in itself and TOXIC.  Surround yourself with people with similar goals and aspirations and you’ll be better for it.  Even if you don’t take that negative relationship away…try to add more positive ones and you’ll see a difference.

–“Don’t stand in the way of your own life, don’t give up when things get hard because quitting will never get you anywhere. Instead work harder and work smarter.”

Let’s focus on careers for this one. So many people are in jobs that they don’t necessarily enjoy, but they make it work because it’s money to support them and their families.  Sometimes you’re stuck for whatever reason.  Or maybe you’re happy working your (albeit slightly mediocre) job because you have less responsibility and you’re okay with that.  Or you may be happy in your job and you already follow the mentality listed above.  Whatever scenario you can relate to, you gotta make it work.  If it’s something worthwhile, supports you and your endeavors and you CAN make it work, do it.  Find ways to make it better and focus on the positives in this one, too.

I can relate greatly to this one…before this year, I was working in a school where I felt unsupported financially and administratively, and to make matters worse I was driving 90 minutes ONE WAY to get there.  I even received a job at another, much closer, location after one year, but wasn’t granted release from my contract to leave.  So did I go back the second year and pout and gripe and bitch and moan about it the entire year?  Well, maybe a few gripes to the great friends I made there…ha…but NO!  I made the best of it.  I relished in the fabulous friendships I made with the teachers and staff.  I made the most of every time I got to work with an individual or group of students. We made the best of a bad situation, and made sure that none of the kids (and most of the teachers) we were helping knew the lack of resources  we actually had.  We worked harder AND smarter.  We were resourceful.  And I survived and am now much closer, much more supported, and much happier in my present situation.  Do I miss the challenges that I faced at my previous position?  Not a chance, but I do miss the great relationships I made while I was there.  But I never gave up and I learned a lot from the situation for sure.

So yeah…to sum it up.  TAKE CONTROL of your life.  Make your own decisions and figure out what you need to do to get to where you want to be.  Even if someone/something else IS to blame, don’t place the blame on them/it.  Take ownership and figure out what you can do to OVERCOME.  Stop overthinking and talking the talk…DO IT and WALK THE WALK.  Prove the doubters wrong.  Better yet, prove YOURSELF wrong.  Hell, you’ve doubted yourself long enough, haven’t you?!  And if you suck at believing in yourself, eventually you’ll stop failing at it if you keep trying.  Let’s FAIL FORWARD.

We had a team call tonight and had to reflect on what our purpose in life was…along with what to enjoy and what to do in this purposeful life. I’ve shared mine below and I encourage you to think about what would fill in YOUR blanks.  Take control…own it.

Cat’s purpose:
The purpose of my life is to make the best of every situation, to enjoy life’s little moments, and to do everything I can to be happy and healthy and fulfilled.

What’s yours??
The purpose of my life is ______________, to enjoy _______________, and to do _______.

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